My Killer Instinct (Old Blog)

I had a date on Sunday. After three years of avoiding women as much as I can due to heartache, I had a date. I thought the date went surprisingly well. Went to Chilis to eat then saw Role Models at the movies.

The next day I felt so bummed out. I felt so lonely for some weird reason. It's so hard to explain. I spent most of the day in the house playing games trying to survive my boredom. I did go to the gym as usual. I went with my best friend Matt. Goes to show you no matter how I am feeling I will always be at the gym. The day felt like a waste.

The reason I am explaining all this, today I get a phone call. From the person I went out on a date with. I believe we all have some kind of inner feeling or "instinct" that tells something good or bad might happen. The phone call was short. I was at Camden County College getting financial aid situated so I can attend in January. I called her later on while on the way to Walmart for toilet paper and Laundry Detergent. I cut it short because I was running out of hands and needed to hit the register. I felt something, that instinct and it wasn't good.

I am home and hop on my PC as usual. She sends me an IM. We talk for a bit then the kicker comes in. I was told I was the "Perfect Package" so to speak. People who know me, know I don't think so due to my low self esteem and previous bad eating habits. I was told about my personality, good looks and whatever else I don't remember at the moment. I was then told about her ex-boyfriend who came to see her at work before our date. The reason she is so confused at the moment. Let me tell you that her ex-boyfriend left her for his ex-girlfriend. I don't understand what's so confusing. If you had something so plain in sight so "perfect" to speak, would you leave it for something you already dealt with? Would you leave the package lying there? I know what I would have done. I've been in this situation before and I made the wrong decision last time. Yes, I regret it. Am I being overly dramatic for going out once and talking on the phone for a while now? Not even given the chance to fail.....or succeed.

Let me ask you....what would you do in this situation? I'd like to hear it on both ends of the spectrum.

I believe we have an instinct and feeling which warns us about things. I had a feeling Monday. I think my instincts were correct.

(I won't use names because it's no one's business on who it was)