The Office

I found a new love in life and it's this show. It's one of the best things to come out of Netflix. I am disappointed that I am already on the 3rd season of the show and after I am done I have to wait. If you have never seen this, you are truly missing out on a terrific show. People at work talk about it and I am a huge fan of Steve Carell movies. I like the office so much I might watch it over again once I am done because it is that funny. Since I can stream all 3 seasons to my XBOX 360 due to Netflix it's become an outlet. There are some episodes that are really over the top, but something comes in to save it towards the end of the show that make it all worth it. Best part is most of the people on the show make it really worthwhile. There are only like 1 or 2 people who I think wouldn't matter if they left. I don't watch TV, barely aty all, I think I might try and make time for this show though. Try it, you hopefully will not regret it.

School is coming up....

....and I am scared shitless. It's been over 7 years since I was last in school.I am scared of not doing good, scared of change in the overall sense. I am practically taking every day of my life and devoting somewhere. For the next 4 or so years I will be trying to higher my education in a hope that I can better my situation in life and to achieve my goal of having a Bachelor's Degree. I know I should be psyched and happy that I finally doing this, but man, it's scary altering part of your life. I am sure I am over thinking it like I normally do, but hey, if I didn't it wouldn't be me :).

Dating advertisements on MySpace

Ok, I know I rant.....a lot, however, I don't care.

You ever come on MySpace and see the Match.com advertisements of a girl looking into a camera and pretending to talk to someone. Do people actually make faces like those while they type?! I may have rolled my eyes or chuckled sometimes at something funny. I think people should video themselves IMing people and send them to me so I can make new advertising. Just another service I can do for the human race. I think I need to make something up that would be funny. The possibilities are grand in the sense of how fucking stupid it is. That does not make me want to go join their website.

The other is the "NEED A GIRLFRIEND?" Oh my friends if it were so easy we wouldn't be needing an advertisement of some young girl who got paid to sell some pictures of themselves so stay at home onliners could drool over the notion of dating one of these self absorbed money mongers. I never clicked the link believe it or not so I don't know what site it goes to. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Match.com again. Would I want to date one, maybe, marry, probably not. Sometimes it's more trouble then it's worth.

Don't ask, I keep logging in to MySpace and see these notorious things all the time it drives me nuts sometimes.

Well, well, well...

Ever wonder why people hate going to work? Do you honestly think because it's the work itself? If you look hard enough, you'll find out that work itself isn't the nuisance. It's the people you work with who poison your brain everyday.

No matter what job you have ever had, people will drive you to the point of insanity. As much as we pretend to ignore it or say it doesn't bother us, it does eventually. Nothing worse then going to work and being annoyed by the same people who day in and day out complain about utter nonsense to the point they drown in their own bullshit. Suffering from the same hypocritical garble they bitch about per day, falling victim to it, themselves.

I had lot of jobs so far in my life. I liked most of the work. The only bright side to this are some of the people who are genuine and speak to you with the truth. The reason I don't mind going to work. There are those few people who make work worth going to. The work itself, is fine. People are the true evil that lies within it.

The ignorant are adept to solitary feelings and wish to make you as miserable as them. Follow this path, I will not.

Goodnight and I hope you enjoyed the show.

I look at cat pictures

Yes I know, weird huh. I go to a site called Stuffonmycat.com. I can't help it. I am a huge cat person. I just like their overall personality compared to dogs to be honest. The cats I have ever had or had with my parents have been terrific. Their quirks, to their just plain love for you is uncanny and respectable.

I had a girl make fun of my because I do still. Sometimes animals can calm the nerves and relieve stress. I can't have any pets since I don't own a home or rent where I can. I would love to be the proud owner of a cat one day.

I don't know why I posted this blog. I kind of thought it was funny how I got made fun of for it. I think the person that did has no room to talk as they had more dick in them in 2 weeks then an oil stick that is connected to a car with a leaking problem. Oh well.

Dating websites, personal thoughts, other things

It's Wednesday night and it's late. I have to go to work tomorrow I am not tired. I had thoughts on my brain and as usual, I can't keep my mouth shut.

For the life of me, for the 30 years I have been put on this earth, can't figure out a woman's agenda. It frustrates me to no end. Only due to the fact that I am still single and looking for someone who can put a smile on my face. I thought this wasn't going to be too hard of a task. Holy shit my friends, I found out that with all the relationships I had, it's still a difficult task. By a show of hands, who wants to be single the rest of their life? I didn't think so. There is a reason, well I think, to my insanity.

Ever go to eHarmony.com or match.com? Take the time one day and just read the profiles. Read the description then read about what their looking for in a guy descriptively. It's a contradiction of what someone truly desires compared to what they dream of. I am not even bringing appearance or weight into it. Do people really think the person of their dreams needs to make 75,000 or more. Don't get me wrong, it's nice, but not necessary. Religion, as in, I only want to date a Jewish person. My best friend and his wife, one is Methodist and the other is Jewish respectively. If people find out how in love they were they would realize the merit isn't in the religion, the income, how tall, what color hair and other nonsense they put into a profile. It's in the person, it's not defined by those characterisitcs. We all have a preference, there is nothing wrong with that. Specifics is a little overboard yeah? I don't care if the person I will be with the rest of my life makes a million dollars, has blonde hair, blue eyes, petite frame, yadda yadda. I prefer Dark hair, but do I care, no. I could care less about eye color. I really don't want petite either as a lot of those girls I have met fit the usual stereotype and I am not going into it. People can lose weight, make better income, dye their hair (for there own reasons), shit, now a days you can even change your eye color. It drives me nuts.

How come every girl I am interested in is not and every girl interested in me, I am not? Tell me it doesn't drive you to the point of banging your head against the wall till some sense in your brains dribbles out. I lost a lot of weight, inches off my waist, gained a lot of muscle (in my opinion anyway, compared to before, I am doing good). I am getting a lot of attention which is great, it helps me continue my journey of living a healthier life. I am thankful for that. That attention still doesn't feed off the starvation for that person who can make your day the best ever by just a phone call, shit, even a text message now a days.

I met a girl on Saturday who I believe was someone I connected with. I had a great time, felt close, and everything. Did I do anything? Of course not, this perosn lives in California. They use to live here and moved out. It's a friend of my best friend's cousin. I never said anything to anybody because I hate expressing myself sometimes and hearing the criticism about it. This person in my eyes, was pretty, blonde hair, petite frame, I forget the eye color, but her personality overall was a knock out. If I ever meet anyone, I would hope there personality is up to par. You don't meet many people who is as outgoing as you are. Oh, the joys of living.

Most of my friends are married, in a relationship and amazingly enough ALL of their friends are too. It just seems to be getting ever so difficult. Do you think out of everyone I know ALL of their friends are in relationships? Do you feel that maybe your friends don't think your good enough for any of their friends? This I don't know, but gave up on bothering anyone. I use to know people who siad, " I know this girl that you might be interested in." It is amazing how life changes and I don't blame anyone, but time honestly. Change comes quicker then you think.

Being 30 hasn't helped either. It's why I decided to go back to school to better myself for my own reasons and it's not just for money. Hit the gym a lot. I haven't missed a day they have been open since I joined. Only day I missed is Thanksgiving because they were closed. I been going so much people who work there know my name and people who work out there see the change and all say hi to me. I did this for my health. Also, so I can't be so hypocritical about meeting the person I want to meet. How can I want someone who takes care of themselves when I didn't before. I am glad I changed it finally. I can't believe it took a cruise to Bermuda to figure it out.

I do think things will change for me and I will get all the things I am working for. I am positive about ALL of it. Just nervous and afraid of what the future holds. All this bullshit you read, if you did, is just my frustration of being single and how I am trying to improve it. For myself and for whoever I meet.

What I wouldn't do to meet that person I want to be with.*

*Nothing illegal or sacrificing another person for of course. I'm not that selfish :-p

My Killer Instinct (Old Blog)

I had a date on Sunday. After three years of avoiding women as much as I can due to heartache, I had a date. I thought the date went surprisingly well. Went to Chilis to eat then saw Role Models at the movies.

The next day I felt so bummed out. I felt so lonely for some weird reason. It's so hard to explain. I spent most of the day in the house playing games trying to survive my boredom. I did go to the gym as usual. I went with my best friend Matt. Goes to show you no matter how I am feeling I will always be at the gym. The day felt like a waste.

The reason I am explaining all this, today I get a phone call. From the person I went out on a date with. I believe we all have some kind of inner feeling or "instinct" that tells something good or bad might happen. The phone call was short. I was at Camden County College getting financial aid situated so I can attend in January. I called her later on while on the way to Walmart for toilet paper and Laundry Detergent. I cut it short because I was running out of hands and needed to hit the register. I felt something, that instinct and it wasn't good.

I am home and hop on my PC as usual. She sends me an IM. We talk for a bit then the kicker comes in. I was told I was the "Perfect Package" so to speak. People who know me, know I don't think so due to my low self esteem and previous bad eating habits. I was told about my personality, good looks and whatever else I don't remember at the moment. I was then told about her ex-boyfriend who came to see her at work before our date. The reason she is so confused at the moment. Let me tell you that her ex-boyfriend left her for his ex-girlfriend. I don't understand what's so confusing. If you had something so plain in sight so "perfect" to speak, would you leave it for something you already dealt with? Would you leave the package lying there? I know what I would have done. I've been in this situation before and I made the wrong decision last time. Yes, I regret it. Am I being overly dramatic for going out once and talking on the phone for a while now? Not even given the chance to fail.....or succeed.

Let me ask you....what would you do in this situation? I'd like to hear it on both ends of the spectrum.

I believe we have an instinct and feeling which warns us about things. I had a feeling Monday. I think my instincts were correct.

(I won't use names because it's no one's business on who it was)