Um, some time passes and BAM!!!!

It's actually not a bad BAM!!!! School is going pretty good. I have a brand new 2009 Kia Rio5. Gym is great and my diet kicks ass. I am getting in better shape by the day and I am super psyched about it. Work is what it is. It's there and I am glad to have a job. Let me get to the good stuff though instead of this boring usual matter.

Maybe I should wait. Every time I have news about a girl. I feel like I ruin it for myself if I talk about it. I met her online. I have a date with her on Wednesday. I have been talking to her on the phone for hours. Getting to know her better. Ever have such a good feeling about someone? This is way better then the feeling before. It's not creepy like the last one. It was a shot at someone I thought would not talk to me. Sent her a message and we talked for a week. Found out we have so much in common. I am borderline scared now though. I haven't been so afraid in such a long time. I know what I have to do and that is be myself. Like I said, I am afraid she will not like me for who I am. I don't want to try to be someone I am not. So far she seems to dig me but better then the one before. I.....am......so.....scared.

I think that if I think positive, that I will have a positive outcome. I mentioned a quote from a Pearl Jam song, called "The Fixer." "....if something is gone, I want to fight to get it back again." By this I mean my full fledged personality. My attitude towards things and my new outlook. I have this feeling, it's going to sound really corny. We were put on earth to be with a woman/man. Do you really think it was done by coincidence? There is a purpose.

I just hope this isn't a fly by night like the other one. I have a way better feeling about this one. We talk about the dumbest things, talk about serious things like her work which is kind of serious deal. We sometimes have silence, but I don't mind. I better not fuck this up. There is nothing I want more then to be with somebody. Now that I see that this girl is so similar that I think I hit the jackpot. I will see if it's true on Wednesday. Whoever reads this, please pray for me. I never wanted something so badly before until now.