What was I thinking?

Sometimes I do not know when to do things. I know this for my slow progress through lifes trials and tribulations. I wonder sometimes after I do certain things, I asked myself, "What was I thinking?" It can pertain to asking a girl something, to saying something that comes out wrong, to doing something for 4 years and letting your body rot away from fat, cholestoral and all else there is that I ate.

I sit there and continually ask myself what was I thinking. For all these years feeling sorry for myself when it was my fault all along. I never took responsibility for my actions. Now I am and I must admit it feels really damn good. I never knew how good it would feel to take control of my life. Being in control of certain aspects is breath taking honestly.

The real reason for this blog was because of something I did today that I think was in poor taste to a degree. I feel it was right, but I stop and wish I could have presented it in a better manner. I pride myself on originality and like going above and beyond for anyone I have any type of feeling for. If you read this and I know you will, I am sorry. For presentation and timing and not for how I feel.

If I didn't have the gym as my outlet I do not know how I would be able to deal with my feelings or emotions. Yes Shane, thank you for being a good crutch for me and the gym homie. You are part of my inspiration and part challenge as I am going to crush you one day lol :p.