Just an update as usual

My tax return ended up being double than what I thought which is HUGE! I am able to pay two months of rent and car. I bought a ton of food, got some bodybuilding stuff which is part of food, and will survive until I can reapply for unemployment. I can reapply tomorrow actually which is a good thing.

School is going kind of meh. I got 62 on my Calculus test. I didn't realize how bad I did. I thought I knew enough to get an 80 or above. I don't see it until tomorrow and I emailed my teacher for the grade. Good thing is she drops the lowest test score. I just didn't want this to be my lowest. I wanted something to fall back on. I am still going to strive for that A and make sure that this doesn't happen again. Discrete Mathematics is good, but I am extremely nervous about the test. There is so much to memorize and I have a great memory but even my capacity is limited. Hopefully I am being overly anxious and it will not be as bad as I am thinking. Chemistry is good so far. I did two labs which were kind of fun and I got a great lab partner. I am getting my work done right and done early with her. I have an online class, Health and Wellness. I am doing good in that since it's just reading and posting my opinions about health. It works out for me since I am so health conscious now and have done research on a lot of it already. I need to study Discrete Math though and make sure if I have any questions to ASK, especially on Calculus.

The gym and diet are just phenomenal. I weigh 196 pounds. I am at least 3x stronger than I was when I started. I finally have stomach muscles which I posted on facebook. I think that I am going to take weight gainer. A kid at work did the same thing and at the time I thought how stupid. I realize now that weight gainer adds muscle and not fat. You get down to the weight you want and pack on more muscle by taking weight gainer with your regular eating habits. I probably shouldn't even call what I do a diet. It's my regular eating habits as I mentioned above. I hope to continue down this path and keep my eye focused on getting shredded as they put it lol :P.

As for the girl, well, we are still talking. I still have feelings of inadequacy but it's no where near as bad as it was. I think once I get at least my Associate's Degree I will have partially defeated part of that demon. Then I can try for at least a better job and have a sense of accomplishment. I am starting to like this girl and just by talking to her. The best part is that we been talking for a long time now just as friends. I think she likes me too, but is scared of getting hurt. I am the same way. Funny thing is she doesn't believe me when I say I am a nice guy. I am a nice guy who does have a lot to offer a woman. After two more years when I am done school I will have a lot more to offer and bring to the table. I would rather start building a relationship now so when I am done school and start that good career I can think about marriage :P.

Good thing is I got plans, the bad thing is, well, I hate waiting lol. I don't want to wish my life away. I have to enjoy the moment I am in. I don't dwell on the past and I don't think about the future too much because I have plans. Even if sometimes those plans are skewed a bit, there is a main goal to achieve. I will post good or better news when I post again :).