Still waiting on unemployment. I don't know what is going to happen. This fighting sucks and I regret doing what I did and not having a job. I would rather be working, but the change was definitely needed. I am surprised my old job paid out my PTO and gave me enough to pay my rent for the month so I don't have to worry about that and I should have my tax return by the end of the month. I will be good on my major bills for a bit. If I get unemployment for a bit I will be very good. If not, well, I better get something, FAST, lol.
I did my first therapy session last Wednesday. It was interesting. I don't know how I feel about it. I have to wait until they present my case and they decide if or who will help me. I will definitely go again though.
School is ok. Discrete Mathematics is harder than I thought. I am having trouble because what the teacher goes over and what is in the book sometimes don't jive. I mean the teaching techniques are different. I hope I can get this by the first test. I haven't done the homework completely. When I try I get stuck on the simple ones. I need to keep practicing it. I will update on how that is later on.
Gym is great. Nothing has changed. I fluctuate between 202 and 204. I am happy with that. I hope to be 190 by the summer. I think I will stop at 180 pounds. I should be physically content with size and body mass. Just keep on eating and lifting and see where it takes me :).
Only thing I am worried about is food. I am running severely low. I can't afford to buy bread. I do have rice and canned goods I am eating for now and my vitamins. I hope this sorts itself out so I can sustain my appetite which isn't huge. Last thing I want to do is ask someone for help or food. It's going to be a huge hit on my pride. If I don't get unemployment most of my tax return will go to pay two months each of rent and my car. I need those two things in my life. I hope to post very good news next time :).
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Well
School is good. I love Discrete Mathematics as it deals with a lot of logic. I like logic :P. Calculus us a tad different, but I better get use to it as I got two more semesters of it. I need to do my homework sometime soon. It's not much, but I need to stay on top of it since it's no where near as bad as last semester.
I find out whether I get unemployment tomorrow. I am nervous as my living situation depends on it. I will update tomorrow with the results.
The gym still rocks and I keep on getting better and better. I met this girl today at the gym. Well, I didn't meet her today, but I actually talked to her today. I ended up talking to her for an hour and a half while at the gym and getting her phone number as I left. Then she actually text me 30 some odd minutes later which surprised me. I asked if she ever wanted to go out and she said yes. Only problem is the little paragraph I wrote above. I need a job, a real one and I am going to go man hunting for a job tomorrow. I said man hunting because it sounds more GRRRR BABY!!!!
I find out whether I get unemployment tomorrow. I am nervous as my living situation depends on it. I will update tomorrow with the results.
The gym still rocks and I keep on getting better and better. I met this girl today at the gym. Well, I didn't meet her today, but I actually talked to her today. I ended up talking to her for an hour and a half while at the gym and getting her phone number as I left. Then she actually text me 30 some odd minutes later which surprised me. I asked if she ever wanted to go out and she said yes. Only problem is the little paragraph I wrote above. I need a job, a real one and I am going to go man hunting for a job tomorrow. I said man hunting because it sounds more GRRRR BABY!!!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Even when you are down
...you don't ever give up. EVER!!
I saw the nurse today at the gym. I weigh 204 pounds. My bodyfat is at 13.1%. I honestly am in awe. I can't believe I am doing everything I planned on. I just wish I could smile more. Damn teeth and damn smoking for those 10 years lol. I start school tomorrow and I am excited for some reason. I enjoy going to school and learning. Which reminds me, I better go to bed.
People can change. It can take some time, it can be instant. We need a good support group. We need each other.
I saw the nurse today at the gym. I weigh 204 pounds. My bodyfat is at 13.1%. I honestly am in awe. I can't believe I am doing everything I planned on. I just wish I could smile more. Damn teeth and damn smoking for those 10 years lol. I start school tomorrow and I am excited for some reason. I enjoy going to school and learning. Which reminds me, I better go to bed.
People can change. It can take some time, it can be instant. We need a good support group. We need each other.
Mini Update
School starts Wednesday and not Monday. I should read my class schedule a bit better lol.
That date I went on was meh. I haven't spoken to her because she hasn't written me either, but I could tell that shew wasn't interested either which is a relief. I do have one new lead with a girl who lives in Collingswood who seems nice from the profile, but you never know until you meet them. I have one old lead from a girl I dated, but was not interested. She sent me a message again for some reason. I honestly do not think she remembers. It didn't end bad, there was no chemistry for me is all. I am talking to her in a non-flirtatious manner. I will see what happens.
I did cardio kick class today at 6:30pm and lifted at 4pm. My body is beat but damn I feel great. I look terrific. I know it's only going to keep on getting better. This is awesome. I haven't felt this great about how I looked, since, well, I can't remember.
I start therapy Wednesday. I feel bad because I had to cancel last weeks sessions due to the employment dilemma. The person called me back and is going to let me pay on a when I have it basis. When I get my income tax I will make good on all sessions and I told him that. I am still waiting to see if I can get unemployment. I find out on Friday after an interview.
Let's go Tony, Let's GO!!!
That date I went on was meh. I haven't spoken to her because she hasn't written me either, but I could tell that shew wasn't interested either which is a relief. I do have one new lead with a girl who lives in Collingswood who seems nice from the profile, but you never know until you meet them. I have one old lead from a girl I dated, but was not interested. She sent me a message again for some reason. I honestly do not think she remembers. It didn't end bad, there was no chemistry for me is all. I am talking to her in a non-flirtatious manner. I will see what happens.
I did cardio kick class today at 6:30pm and lifted at 4pm. My body is beat but damn I feel great. I look terrific. I know it's only going to keep on getting better. This is awesome. I haven't felt this great about how I looked, since, well, I can't remember.
I start therapy Wednesday. I feel bad because I had to cancel last weeks sessions due to the employment dilemma. The person called me back and is going to let me pay on a when I have it basis. When I get my income tax I will make good on all sessions and I told him that. I am still waiting to see if I can get unemployment. I find out on Friday after an interview.
Let's go Tony, Let's GO!!!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Hello there
It's been over a week since I became part of the unemployed. I have never been happier. It's not because I am not working. It's because of not doing something I use to hate with a passion. The thing I hate with a passion is retail banking. I know this is just another speed bump in life and I will go over it and I believe that after I am over it, things will be better than before.
I just got back from seeing New Moon with my best friend's wife. It actually was 10 times better than the first one. Some of the sappy parts are a little over the top and honestly make me upchuck a little. I am all about love but that seems to be WAY over the top. Still a good movie, I was surprised.
I have a pseudo date tomorrow. Meeting a girl in Philadelphia just for conversation and to see what happens. I just feel a bit meh about it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I put so much effort into finding someone that I am out of energy with it. I think this is a good thing though. Might help me focus on what I need to be focusing on.
I start school again on Monday. I can't believe I am excited about this. I miss school. Lol, I think that should make me sad. I can't wait to finish school and finally have a Bachelor's Degree and a career. I need to start rethinking how I do things at a job so I can avoid what happened with the last one. I hate to say it, but no more bending over backwards for people I don't know that well. A lesson learned.
The gym is awesome. I keep getting stronger and thinner by the day. People ask me what my goal is. I think it's to be a good looking corpse. Sounds morbid, but this exercise thing is not a fly by night event. It's a life long pursuit of fixing what I did to myself. I love the clothes I can wear now and I really like how I look in them. I looked in the mirror before I left and smiled. I did this because of how proud I am of what I have done physically. Now I need to look inside myself and smile. Start making those important changes I had planned for this new year.
I just got back from seeing New Moon with my best friend's wife. It actually was 10 times better than the first one. Some of the sappy parts are a little over the top and honestly make me upchuck a little. I am all about love but that seems to be WAY over the top. Still a good movie, I was surprised.
I have a pseudo date tomorrow. Meeting a girl in Philadelphia just for conversation and to see what happens. I just feel a bit meh about it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I put so much effort into finding someone that I am out of energy with it. I think this is a good thing though. Might help me focus on what I need to be focusing on.
I start school again on Monday. I can't believe I am excited about this. I miss school. Lol, I think that should make me sad. I can't wait to finish school and finally have a Bachelor's Degree and a career. I need to start rethinking how I do things at a job so I can avoid what happened with the last one. I hate to say it, but no more bending over backwards for people I don't know that well. A lesson learned.
The gym is awesome. I keep getting stronger and thinner by the day. People ask me what my goal is. I think it's to be a good looking corpse. Sounds morbid, but this exercise thing is not a fly by night event. It's a life long pursuit of fixing what I did to myself. I love the clothes I can wear now and I really like how I look in them. I looked in the mirror before I left and smiled. I did this because of how proud I am of what I have done physically. Now I need to look inside myself and smile. Start making those important changes I had planned for this new year.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Well, well, well
I have way too many ups and downs. For some reason, I feel calm. I shouldn't though. I have a car payment due 2/12 and rent due 1/31. I will have enough to pay for my car loan, but not enough for rent. It looks like I should be able to get unemployment. Just depends on when it finally goes through.
I may not be able to do therapy at the moment. I won't have enough to pay for my first session which I did finally get a call and made an appointment. I even had to cancel my dentist appointment. As part of my Near Year's resolution I decided to get my teeth fixed and now I can't. I even had planned to take a real vacation as I need one. However, in time I think I will be able to do some things though. Thinking positive was my first thing on my list. I am worried, but still positive.
I think what happened to me bites, but it's a blessing in disguise. I will bounce back from this and I will bounce back better then I was before. I don't want a new Tony. I want a better Tony. I am happy to a degree with who I am. I am not happy with my situation. It's not that bad, but it's not that great. At least I have goals and desire and to be honest I have been achieving my goals. Weight loss and going back to school were two huge things and I did it. I been talking to more people and women in general, especially at the gym. It's paying off though and making my feel good. I got to remember I have been working so hard to get things done and I am getting things done. I have results from my losing weight, going to school with my grades and talking to women and making eye contact. I need not to be afraid.
My next thing on the list I want to do that I didn't add is create a social life. I am lacking in it big time. I don't need tons of money to go out and have a good time. I need a new network of friends. I love the ones I have, but just want a few more.
I am glad this blog post isn't a depressing pile of sob. I am at a huge low right now. I believe that things will work out in the end and I CAN'T GIVE UP!!! I refuse to give up. I will make the corrections and fight to get it back again!!!!!!!
I may not be able to do therapy at the moment. I won't have enough to pay for my first session which I did finally get a call and made an appointment. I even had to cancel my dentist appointment. As part of my Near Year's resolution I decided to get my teeth fixed and now I can't. I even had planned to take a real vacation as I need one. However, in time I think I will be able to do some things though. Thinking positive was my first thing on my list. I am worried, but still positive.
I think what happened to me bites, but it's a blessing in disguise. I will bounce back from this and I will bounce back better then I was before. I don't want a new Tony. I want a better Tony. I am happy to a degree with who I am. I am not happy with my situation. It's not that bad, but it's not that great. At least I have goals and desire and to be honest I have been achieving my goals. Weight loss and going back to school were two huge things and I did it. I been talking to more people and women in general, especially at the gym. It's paying off though and making my feel good. I got to remember I have been working so hard to get things done and I am getting things done. I have results from my losing weight, going to school with my grades and talking to women and making eye contact. I need not to be afraid.
My next thing on the list I want to do that I didn't add is create a social life. I am lacking in it big time. I don't need tons of money to go out and have a good time. I need a new network of friends. I love the ones I have, but just want a few more.
I am glad this blog post isn't a depressing pile of sob. I am at a huge low right now. I believe that things will work out in the end and I CAN'T GIVE UP!!! I refuse to give up. I will make the corrections and fight to get it back again!!!!!!!
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