Well, well, well

I have way too many ups and downs. For some reason, I feel calm. I shouldn't though. I have a car payment due 2/12 and rent due 1/31. I will have enough to pay for my car loan, but not enough for rent. It looks like I should be able to get unemployment. Just depends on when it finally goes through.

I may not be able to do therapy at the moment. I won't have enough to pay for my first session which I did finally get a call and made an appointment. I even had to cancel my dentist appointment. As part of my Near Year's resolution I decided to get my teeth fixed and now I can't. I even had planned to take a real vacation as I need one. However, in time I think I will be able to do some things though. Thinking positive was my first thing on my list. I am worried, but still positive.

I think what happened to me bites, but it's a blessing in disguise. I will bounce back from this and I will bounce back better then I was before. I don't want a new Tony. I want a better Tony. I am happy to a degree with who I am. I am not happy with my situation. It's not that bad, but it's not that great. At least I have goals and desire and to be honest I have been achieving my goals. Weight loss and going back to school were two huge things and I did it. I been talking to more people and women in general, especially at the gym. It's paying off though and making my feel good. I got to remember I have been working so hard to get things done and I am getting things done. I have results from my losing weight, going to school with my grades and talking to women and making eye contact. I need not to be afraid.

My next thing on the list I want to do that I didn't add is create a social life. I am lacking in it big time. I don't need tons of money to go out and have a good time. I need a new network of friends. I love the ones I have, but just want a few more.

I am glad this blog post isn't a depressing pile of sob. I am at a huge low right now. I believe that things will work out in the end and I CAN'T GIVE UP!!! I refuse to give up. I will make the corrections and fight to get it back again!!!!!!!